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2004-12-10 [Southern Affliction]: My only escape!!!
2004-12-14 [Mercy's Angel]: Awesomeness.
2004-12-17 [Rain Kissed Angel]: it is so true......the only way to let some of the pain inside out is by letting it drip out.....
2004-12-17 [straylight run]: yea, it's very true
2004-12-17 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *sigh*
2004-12-29 [sweets72]: it's not true, there are so many other ways to let pain out
2004-12-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *sighs* not for me...I mean I'm sure there is...but....*s
2004-12-29 [straylight run]: maybe for those that know how to deal with the pain they're feeling inside
2004-12-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *looks down at the ground*
2004-12-30 [SexyKitty]: it's not about letting the pain out for me. It's about controlling the pain. It's the only hurting that I created and can control. It's also a way of disciplining myself. Beating myself causes people around me to worry because bruises are harder to cover up.
2004-12-30 [straylight run]: for me it's making the pain im feeling inside visible, so i know where it's coming from, and i know what's causing it, i can't deal with emotional pain, so i cause myself physical pain to counteract with the emotional pain
2004-12-31 [Rain Kissed Angel]: For me it is more of staying under control. Sometimes I can feel like I'm going crazy, I'm actually sucidal, but I can control that with the help of my friends that I love so much. see...I let the pain build up, I never used to tell people what I was feeling, and then I broke, I started and still have breakdowns and some of my friends discovered the scars on my arms and I had to tell them. Slowly I am comming out of my shell.
2004-12-31 [Harlequin Girl]: can yo please add me? I know that its the only escape.
2005-01-05 [Southern Affliction]: Cutting use to be my only escape... until I found the glass bottle. I have scars that have healed and no all I do is get drunk. It lasts longer and raises less suspicion.
2005-01-05 [Rain Kissed Angel]: my dad is always drunk and is such an asshole....tha
2005-01-06 [Southern Affliction]: I drink alone...so I don't have to worry about what others think. I come to school drunk alot though.
2005-01-06 [Rain Kissed Angel]: that isn\'t good, Your education is very serious.
2005-01-10 [Southern Affliction]: Doesn't mean my education suffers. I'm going to college next year and nothing will change.
2005-01-10 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ok, well as long as you are still doing good in school, and you don't get into trouble...
2005-01-11 [Southern Affliction]: You sound like my mom or sumpthin.
2005-01-12 [Rain Kissed Angel]: heh, that is funny. How old are you?
2005-01-12 [Southern Affliction]: 17
2005-01-12 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *laughs* That is funny. I'm only 15.
2005-01-16 [kaitlyn marie]: really, i'm only 13...
2005-01-18 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *sigh* I wish I could be 10 again......
2005-01-18 [Southern Affliction]: Why do you wish that?
2005-01-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: .......lets just say I've made alot of mistakes in my life....and I missed out on alot of my childhood.....
2005-01-23 [Lost_soul_of BrandonLee2]: Ello all^_^
2005-01-26 [Rain Kissed Angel]: hi
2005-02-01 [Southern Affliction]: I know the feeling. I wish I could start from the beginning and fix my life.
2005-02-14 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *sigh*
2005-02-15 [Southern Affliction]: What's wrong?
2005-02-24 [Rain Kissed Angel]: Life.....life is so wrong.........
2005-02-24 [Acidic Khemica]: yea it is
2005-03-01 [Southern Affliction]: Why is it wrong?
2005-03-01 [Acidic Khemica]: because things happen and it only gets worse
2005-03-04 [Southern Affliction]: Wanna explain?
2005-03-04 [Acidic Khemica]: just seems like when something is really good it just gets bad
2005-03-07 [tragedy of life]: and when it gets bad it never gets better
2005-03-07 [Acidic Khemica]: thats right
2005-03-07 [Southern Affliction]: I use to be that way... then I found someone I care for and without even knowing I changed. Now I'm just paranoid.
2005-03-07 [Acidic Khemica]: heh it happens
2005-03-08 [tragedy of life]: i found someone too but i havnt changed
2005-03-08 [Acidic Khemica]: yea i have to
2005-03-08 [tragedy of life]: how did you change? did this person change you or...?
2005-03-08 [Southern Affliction]: Being with her made me realize that no matter how far to the depts of dog shit I could fall... Without knowing I could be the happiest redneck in Texas. It was the biggest suprise of my life. For once I can say I'm happy.
2005-03-08 [tragedy of life]: well yea being with my guy makes me happy but im not really happy the rest of the time
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: .....*shakes slightly and holds back the tears.....* I don't know how much longer I can hold onto life......I just can't take it......everyo
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: i cant tell you im sorry cause im not and i cant tell you things will get better cause they might not and i cant tell you not to kill your-self cause that just about the best addvice i can give so...yea
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: i don't want anyone to be sorry for me...I want someoen to just kill me...I'm petheadic.....
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: sometimes we have to be strong to get through the shit life throws at us, sumtimes we need an outlet for the pain that we're feeling inside, i dont know what's goin on in ur life dee so i don't really know what to say, all i know is that everything that happens, happens for one reason or another even though we may not see things that way
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ......I'm dieing anyways....I just wish I'd die faster...
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: we're all dying in one way or another, but sometimes we need to slow down our death to see what's really around us
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ........*sighs
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: im not arguing, im just giving you another perspective
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ............*c
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: y is he so far away?
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: .....he is in organ....I'm in missouri......
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: is he coming back?
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: i am so glad Kasey is here with me or eles i would not be alive
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: heh, he lives there.....(no)
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: that sux
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: yes, it does......*loo
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: when did he move there?
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: yea that would suck
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: heh, I met him on here. He's lived there all his life...as I have mine here....alone.
2005-03-09 [straylight run]: oic
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: well i guess its good hes coming back
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: well.....*sigh
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: good night
2005-03-09 [Rain Kissed Angel]: pleasnt dreams everyone
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: yea you too
2005-03-09 [Southern Affliction]: I see everyone talking about killing theirselves and I wonder if you might try something... try and remember the last good thing that happened to you. Then ask yourself if you think anything could happen like that again. The only thing that suicide would accomplish is hurting those that may care for you. I use to be worse than what I'm reading... I have tried and failed to kill myself. I regret it now considering who I have found to share my life. Just remember... there's always a reason to live.
2005-03-09 [tragedy of life]: i dont really want to die i just want everyone to go away
2005-03-10 [Southern Affliction]: Then what happens when you're all alone. You get even more depressed and want to relieve yourself of your pain. Through any means possible. It wasn't peaceful for me... it was suicidal.
2005-03-11 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *hugs everyone* thankx for the help the other` day. I neede`d it. I hope I didn't scare any`one, me and my damn breakdowns. sorry....-_-''
2005-03-12 [tragedy of life]: its okay
2005-03-16 [Rain Kissed Angel]: thanks...*atte
2005-03-16 [straylight run]: whats the point of life when everything around you is nothing but a faceless lie
2005-03-16 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I'm just so tired of hiding behind this mask. *sighs* *way off subject* ....Nevermind.
2005-03-16 [straylight run]: don't worry about it, everyone wears a mask, i wear a mask so i don't end up getting hurt and so no one knows what's really going on
2005-03-16 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ....I'm always pretending to be happy, always smiling and making people laugh....but when I can't hold it in anymore everyone can see stright thought me.....I hate being felt sorry for, But If i intend to stay alive I Have to excetp it. If it wasn't for people feeling "sorry" for me and careing so much about me, I wouldn't be here....
2005-03-16 [straylight run]: i refuse to let people see through my mask, if im hurting inside they have no clue and i deal with it myself, i feel weak and pathetic when people see the real me and feel sorry for me or take pity on me, i won't stand for it
2005-03-16 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I hate it....My friends always ask me what's wrong when my perfect image faulters....It makes me feel....helple
2005-03-16 [straylight run]: when my friends ask me what's wrong, i just plaster my usual smile on and say nothing and act like a moron or say im tired
2005-03-16 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I do that too, But It doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm an ant stuck on the bottom of someones shoe...I have to go soon.... damn...
2005-03-16 [straylight run]: that's life....it sux
2005-03-16 [Rain Kissed Angel]: Yeah, life is such a bitch....I gtg....bye, Hopefully I'll get the chance to talk to you again...bye till then
2005-03-16 [Lost_soul_of BrandonLee2]: Life is a bitch...I wrote a litte poem....here it is.. (I suck at writing just so you know) I'm not okay and I don't want to pretend that I am. But I have to...I have to put on this mask and pretend that I am someone that I am not. Things in this world are going wrong and hurting the people I love the most. Just leave me alone....becau
2005-03-16 [straylight run]: that's actually quite a good poem
2005-03-17 [Lost_soul_of BrandonLee2]: Really? Thank you.
2005-03-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I like it too. It is good. ^_^
2005-03-19 [Acidic Khemica]: hello
2005-03-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: oh, hi sis. *hugs*
2005-03-19 [Acidic Khemica]: hey^^*hugs*
2005-03-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: How have you been?
2005-03-19 [Acidic Khemica]: alright alittle tired lately
2005-03-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: me too.
2005-03-19 [Acidic Khemica]: heh yea
2005-03-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *has a headake*
2005-03-19 [Acidic Khemica]: m2
2005-03-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *sighs* I want my dillon
2005-03-19 [Acidic Khemica]: ....
2005-03-23 [Southern Affliction]: Being on this wiki brings back a lot of memories. Let me show ya a couple of poems I wrote that helped me through my dark times... I hope they help.
2005-03-23 [Southern Affliction]: "The Underdog" Who am I? I am the unknown... Where am I?... I am alone... I've made it through life...Without a friend in the world... By defending my life... I've spread my unheard word..........
2005-03-23 [Southern Affliction]: (Unamed) Thoughts and Images race through my mind yet I can't see, I'm blinded by my shame and regrets... Born to search for confidence just to find there's nothing for me, I come face to face with their threats... All I ever wanted was to be treated in kind, But to do that I must conform, So I stand alone never to gain their respects, And ask for nothing more... Through this hell all I can find is to wish I'd never been born, Means to never hear her heart beat through her breast and to never make love to my sweet amor... So I fight the hell beating at my mind and hide from their mobs and swarms, just to hope they can't convince her to rip the heart from my chest. -Conrad-
2005-03-23 [Southern Affliction]: After I wrote these I relized that no matter how insignificant I feel or actually am... I can always be heard. Also recently I found the one... She is my new reason for living. I quit smoking, drinking, dipping, snorting, and cutting. I no longer need an escape... I have nothing to escape from. The only thing I run from now is my past. I hope ya'll like the poems.
2005-03-31 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I like the poems alot. and I'm glad you found the one....
2005-04-01 [Southern Affliction]: I found the one ya but... I think I just screwed up my life.
2005-04-05 [Rain Kissed Angel]: huh? What happened sweetie?
2005-04-08 [Southern Affliction]: My girlfriend thinks she's pregnant!
2005-04-10 [Rain Kissed Angel]: Isn't that something you should be happy for?.......I'd do anything to be able to have kids, I don't care if I'm just 15 *can't have kids-has P.C.O.S (the #1 infertily causer in women in the USA)*
2005-04-13 [Southern Affliction]: I'm only 17 with a job that won't support us. Not to mention she has a 9 1/2 old son who I love. I'm just really really stressed right now.
2005-04-13 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *hugs you comfortingly* It will all work it's self out. I wish there was something I could do to help though....*sig
2005-04-13 [Acidic Khemica]: *yawns*
2005-04-14 [Southern Affliction]: I just gotta think about what I want.
2005-04-17 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ...........
2005-04-18 [Southern Affliction]: ?
2005-04-18 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *sigh*
2005-04-19 [Southern Affliction]: :{
2005-04-19 [Rain Kissed Angel]: sorry...i'm just...not feeling well...
2005-04-20 [Southern Affliction]: I'm sorry.
2005-04-21 [Rain Kissed Angel]: *shakes her head* don't be, there is nothing you can do about it....
2005-04-26 [Southern Affliction]: Well I wish there was something I could do.
2005-04-26 [Rain Kissed Angel]: thankx....you don't have to worry though....I have a dr app in about a 1/2 hr....
2005-04-26 [Acidic Khemica]: ehh i hate doctors
2005-04-26 [Rain Kissed Angel]: me too, Hey hun *smiles and giggles a bit*
2005-04-26 [Acidic Khemica]: *laughs*hello^
2005-04-26 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I'd love to stay, but I got to get ready to go soon
2005-04-26 [Acidic Khemica]: okay ^_^be careful
2005-04-26 [Rain Kissed Angel]: ^_^ thankx doll ^_^ *hugs and kisses* bye!
2005-04-26 [Acidic Khemica]: *is hugged and kissed*im a doll?....*laug
2005-04-26 [Rain Kissed Angel]: yeah, I like to play with you!! *giggles* I have to get surgry on my wrist.
2005-04-27 [Acidic Khemica]: eh owww
2005-04-27 [Rain Kissed Angel]: yeah
2005-04-27 [Acidic Khemica]: heh
2005-04-29 [straylight run]: man, if i had to have surgery on my wrist then there'd be more scars than just one and questions would be asked lol
2005-04-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I'm just lucky that I have to get the surgry on my right wrist, and not my left....
2005-04-29 [straylight run]: yea im the same way, and i have chains wrapped around my wrist so ppl can't see
2005-04-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I have to ware long sleves. I have them all up my arm
2005-04-29 [straylight run]: yea, i usually keep it to my left wrist and my right upper arm
2005-04-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: me 2, cept its my upper thighs
2005-04-29 [straylight run]: yea, i ride horses so that would be really bad for me, it would hurt like a bitch lol
2005-04-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: heheh, yeah. >,<
2005-04-29 [straylight run]: lol
2005-04-29 [Rain Kissed Angel]: I like horses too. I've just never ridden one. I want to though
2005-08-02 [straylight run]: alright everyone, sorry i haven't been very attentive lately, i have been in europe for a while now and wont be back for two weeks still so you'll all have to wait until then for my new renovations! keep talkin though!!
2005-12-11 [+♥+SAFFY+♥+]: talktalktalk
2005-12-12 [straylight run]: hmmm....nifty
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